Wednesday, September 29, 2010

What were they thinking?????

You ever just scratch your head and think "What were they thinking?"  Let me set the stage for you.  It is 3 year old precious little Jocelyn's birthday.  Jocelyn, like your normal three year old wants to be a princess.  Enter a large clubhouse, lots of decorations, about 100 guests, a three tiered princess cake and beautifully set tables.  Jocelyn is so excited she is asking all day, "when does the party start mama, when does the party start daddy?"  OK, your with me up to this point right?  Here's where things get a little crazy and a whole lot of unsouthern-like {Is that a word?} Oh well, you know what I mean.  All us southern women know how to throw a great party.  We have the gracious party chromosome.  {They haven't exactly identified it yet, but I am sure they are getting close!} We love to entertain and to gather a wonderful assortment of lovely friends.  A southern girl will have the best food, wonderful atmosphere, clean house and even candles lit and music playing in the back ground for the perfect time.  She'll also greet her guests at the door looking like she hasn't done a thing all day but go to the spa and have her nails done.  She looks forward to serving and welcoming each of her guests.  This party is for them.  She wants them to leave relaxed and full of contentment after a wonderful evening of fellowship and celebration.  Am I right here?  OK, back to our story.  The party is for Jocelyn's birthday right?  IT'S ALL ABOUT JOCELYN!  Mom and dad are there to celebrate sweet little Jocelyn's big day.  Here is where we start to blend a recipe for disaster.  In comes mama's boyfriend--yep that's what I said mama's boyfriend!  To this lovely little mixture we're gonna add enough liquor to have supplied the entire country during prohibition!  {It's looking like quite the evening right?}  For some reason that I just can't for the life of me figure out, the daddy and the boyfriend get into it.  A fight starts that includes all of the 99 proof guests and a beer bottle throwing contest. Seven police departments {yea, that's right 7 police departments} have to be called in and hospital ambulances arrive to take 5 to the hospital where one requires surgery {probably the boyfriend as the father has tried to remove his right eyeball with the broken part of a Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill bottle.}  I saw pictures of the "clubhouse" after the party on TV.  World War III took place in there!  All I have to say is that we can all breathe a collective sigh of relief that this little "social event of the season" took place in the great state of Ohio.  I'd like to get a hold on a couple of parents and a boyfriend!  I'd also like to get my hands on a group of guests.  Lastly,  I'd like to get my hands on little Jocelyn--my arms that is-- around her as tight and loving as I could, and tell her I am so sorry that she showed more sense and better manners than her guests and her parents.  At the end of the party, the camera pans around the room showing drink, food, trash, broken bottles, blood, and finally a pretty pink 3 tiered princess birthday cake that wasn't even touched!  Need I say more?

1 comment:

renee said...

is this for real? this sounds like an episode of "my name is earl." keep on blog-ing! we love it!