Women Talk!

Thursday before last, I had 3 friends over, and we were learning how to play Bunco. I think I caught the jest of the game but we had so much fun laughing and cutting up that we couldn't even remember half of the time who's turn it was or what number we were on.  All of us are around 50. The conversation was SO different from those conversations that we as women had in our 20's. Every conversation in my 20's was with other young mothers. We must have told the stories of our children's births a thousand times each. When, where and how our children were born. The latest cute thing they said and  their progress with potty training.  We talked about the endless spills, fevers of 103, diapers to change and the latest sale on Pampers. That Thursday I realized how we have evolved. There was NO mention of childbirth at this gathering. I'm not even sure that I remember ALL of the details of my children's births anymore. At this point I'm just glad that I remember that I gave birth to them! No, a women's conversation around 50 goes like this. They talk about their grand-children, not being able to read fine print, colonoscopy procedures, hot-flashes,  how we can't remember anything anymore, and granny panties verses bikinis. We talk about our children needing to borrow money or what I call boomerang kids. We send them out into the world only to have them come back home to live. We talk about the re-adjustments of living together again.  I can only imagine the conversations in 30 more years. We'll talk about our great-grandchildren, how we can't even remember that we were suppose to remember something in the first place, all our medications we're taking, how our children have to change OUR diapers, and the latest sale on Depends. We probably will have moved in with one of them and talk about the re-adjustments of living together again. They'll have to take us shoe shopping for the geriatric shoes that are comfortable, practical, but ugly as sin! We inevitably grow older and go through phases in our lives.  Some are more fun than others or if you're like me you just love life and everything in it-well almost everything.  No, as far as I know there are only two options to the continuing saga of life--dying or growing older and having to wear ugly shoes!   I know that I'm not ready for practical shoes yet, but at this point it sure beats the other option!

Bargains, Bargains, Bargains!

I just realized how pathetic my life is apparently.  I have always loved a good sale and get a greater satisfaction out of saving money that probably anyone on the face of the planet.  About 18 years ago, my friend Jeanna and I went to a huge sale at Dillard's in Shreveport, LA.  This was the onset of my "illness."  I looked across the vast store with all of its sale signs.  My heartrate escalated, I broke out in a sweat, and could barely utter an intellligent word.  Jeanna laughed her head off at my body's response at the mere thought of a big sale.  Since then I have continued to go down hill "illness" wise.  I literally need one of those medic warning bracelets that instead of saying DIABETIC or ALLERGY says EXTREME SHOPPER!  When we went on vacation a couple of weeks ago halfway across the U.S., I found a sale at a local store and bought a chair for my keeping room.  Ben wasn't too happy.  With all of our bags and extra stuff that we were hauling in the back of the van all the way to and from, my sweet husband had a very difficult time fitting a chair in the van with all of the other stuff.  We almost didn't get everything in the van and part of the stuff was in a second van of our daughters that she drove back.  "WHO in this world buys a chair on vacation?" Ben was not happy.  The answer is me!  It was on sale-really on sale- and the exact colors that I had been looking for for over a year.  I HAD to buy it even if I had to ride back strapped to the roof of the van in a trunk with a couple of holes cut in the side for oxygen!  I have a new favorite store in town.  It is run by the Habitat for Humanity group.  They call it a re-store.  What a fantastic idea! When you remodel or just spruce up, you donate whatever you take out of the house to the organization.  Every house that I have ever bought had at the very least light fixtures that I wanted to change out.  I have never purchased a house that I didn't do some remodeling.  Many of the houses had very modern fixtures even though the style of the house was traditional.  They had to go!  I am not modern in anyway way, shape, or form.  One house we bought was the model home and had brand new everything but the light fixtures just weren't my style.  I have been wanting a french door for my butlers pantry.  It's been open to the kitchen, but with grandchildren, now it really needed a door because of all the glass inside.  I went in a couple of weeks ago and someone had purchased a home full of European accents that they hated--wow just my style.  I almost got a gorgeous chandelier for the library but when I checked the size, it was too large.  They have everything at this store!  We went in and not only did they have a cream colored french door they had about 30 to pick from.  The price--$20.00.................................Excuse me, I just passed out from the sheer joy at the thought of it again.  As Ben pulled the car around I asked the lady if it had knobs on it as I didn't remember.  "No, but we have knobs." Over to the knob bin and there was the perfect set of brass french door curlique handles with all of the hardware..........................Sorry, I just passed out again.........The price for the whole set $2.00!  Someone had either moved into a very tranditionally styled home and wanted to change everything out or was remodeling.  Other people must hate traditional or european styling as much as I hate modern or early American.  Most of the time when I go there, someone has torn down a 200 year old farmhouse, and there is everything from old solid wood flooring, to built in corner cupboards, to antique fireplace mantels.  I got in the car and was almost delireous with excitement over my find.  Next stop Kohl's Dept. store.  I love Kohl's--they always have great sales!  Ben needed new khakis.  They were on sale 50% off.  Ralph Lauren shirts were also 50% off.  We got two of each.  When we got to the check-out, they had little rub off coupons of anywhere from 15-30% off.  I got a 30% off on top of my already sale prices and screamed so loudly I scared everyone within 15 feet.  That's when I realized that my life has become one pathetic existance where the greatest excitment I have is saving money on my shopping habit!  I am afraid my "condition" is getting worse and worse all of the time.  Like an epileptic, before long I am not going to be allowed to travel alone.  I'll need someone there to administer a pill under my tongue and smelling salts under my nose to revive me.  If it is an exceptionally big sale, they may need to dial 911!  I'll tell them to just drag me out of the aisle until I come to, but don't forget to grab whatever it was that I was looking at before I collapsed.  Got to have that bargain!

Vacation

We just returned from a 10 day vacation and I need a vacation to re-coop from the vacation!  We went to Hot Springs, AR for Ben's family reunion on Lake Hamilton.  It's a little hard to return to reality when you've been on jet skis, in swimming pools, riding in boats and eating out  the whole time.  Why can't we live in a perpetual vacation and go to reality occasionally?  It started off a little rough.  Ben got home an hour early and said that we needed to leave right then!  I explained to him that all of my favorite underthings and night clothes were in the washer and had to be dried.  When Ben is ready to go, he's ready to go!  My solution was to hang my bras, panties, and nightgowns all over the van draped over seats etc. so they could dry on the 17 hour drive.  It works very well although I will warn you that you can get a few weird looks when someone is passing you on the interstate!  Twenty minutes into the trip our grandson Corben said,"Can we turn around and go home now?"  Five miles later grand-daughter Madi throws up and an emergency stop is made on I-81.  The rest of the trip down was uneventful if you can call eating No Dose pills like M & M's,  stopping every 45 minutes to get a drink and then having to go to the bathroom because you stop every 45 minutes to get a drink!  I guess we could have done what that 44 year old woman that drove from Texas to Florida did and just wear a Depends undergarment.  We wouldn't have had to stop as often but if you're like me you'd rather wait until you can't change your diaper yourself before you want to wear one again!  Anytime one of my kids makes me mad, I just tell them that they are the one I have selected to change my  diapers in my old age!  It was a better trip than the time we took a 3ft. long ball python home to Magnolia, AR from Winchester, VA on Christmas Day in a pillow sack!  It was a present for my nephew Charlie who had accidentally cooked his snake Delilah under a heating lamp and it {the snake} wasn't holding up very well being placed in the freezer and taken out every morning to lay frozen stiff by my nephew while he bawled his eyes out over his Cheerios!  I hate snakes as I've said before but we just can't have our nephews crying every morning in their cereal over a cooked snake!  The pet store said to put him/her {how do you tell a female snake from a male snake?  That might be a future blog} into a pillow case and tie the top in a knot.  Supposedly a snake will not move around or strike at something when it can't see it.  Did I just say strike--I must have been out of my mind to have taken that boy home a snake for Christmas!  Everything was suppose to go smoothly until after said snake is bought and can't be returned {imagine that--someone wanting to get rid of a snake.} The seller tells me that the snake can't get below a certain temperature so we have to carry it into the restaurants with us instead of leaving it in the car while we eat!  For some unknown reason, none of my family wanted to have any part of this scheme so I was stuck putting the pillow case inside my coat while we ate on the trip.  We found that there are very few places open to eat at on Christmas Day and also a scary amount of gas stations that are closed. We finally found a Waffle House open in Tennessee and went inside to wait on a table.  It was snowing outside, 20 something degrees, and people were lined up out the door because of the lack of open restaurants.  I have a wicked sense of humor!  Out of the blue,  I realized that I knew how I could clear that place out quickly!  I told Ben that all I had to do was go into the ladies room, take the 3 ft long snake out of the pillow case, put the pillow case in my pocket and walk out of the bathroom holding that ball python saying, "look what I found in the bathroom!"  I didn't do it because it isn't polite to make a lot of people pee themselves, leave their food before it's eaten, or break an arm or a leg running out of a restaurant!  My mama raised me better than that. I wish that someone would have told the snake that he wasn't suppose to move inside the pillow case though.  He moved so much trying to get warm that I was afraid I  would be suspected of shoplifting when we stopped at a Stuckey's early the next morning for breakfast.  When one minute you have no 8" x 12" bulge under your coat and the next minute you do, it can look like you helped yourself to a large box of pecan rolls!  We had the best time ever in Hot Springs.  I always told my children that "family is a little bit of Heaven God let's us see on earth."  It was great seeing everyone and spending time with our kid's and grand kids.  The trip home was rough and took 22 hours of driving.  It involved 2 flat tires, leaving a trailer with 2 old jet skis in some little Podunk AR town, and a lot of fun with me and Erin buying fake stick-on moustaches out of a vending machine and wearing them in a catfish restaurant.  They say that a son will often marry someone like his mother.  Erin {my son's fiance} has the same weird sense of humor as I do, so I am afraid that there will be many more trips with lots of shenanigans in store in the future!