Bargains, Bargains, Bargains!

I just realized how pathetic my life is apparently.  I have always loved a good sale and get a greater satisfaction out of saving money that probably anyone on the face of the planet.  About 18 years ago, my friend Jeanna and I went to a huge sale at Dillard's in Shreveport, LA.  This was the onset of my "illness."  I looked across the vast store with all of its sale signs.  My heartrate escalated, I broke out in a sweat, and could barely utter an intellligent word.  Jeanna laughed her head off at my body's response at the mere thought of a big sale.  Since then I have continued to go down hill "illness" wise.  I literally need one of those medic warning bracelets that instead of saying DIABETIC or ALLERGY says EXTREME SHOPPER!  When we went on vacation a couple of weeks ago halfway across the U.S., I found a sale at a local store and bought a chair for my keeping room.  Ben wasn't too happy.  With all of our bags and extra stuff that we were hauling in the back of the van all the way to and from, my sweet husband had a very difficult time fitting a chair in the van with all of the other stuff.  We almost didn't get everything in the van and part of the stuff was in a second van of our daughters that she drove back.  "WHO in this world buys a chair on vacation?" Ben was not happy.  The answer is me!  It was on sale-really on sale- and the exact colors that I had been looking for for over a year.  I HAD to buy it even if I had to ride back strapped to the roof of the van in a trunk with a couple of holes cut in the side for oxygen!  I have a new favorite store in town.  It is run by the Habitat for Humanity group.  They call it a re-store.  What a fantastic idea! When you remodel or just spruce up, you donate whatever you take out of the house to the organization.  Every house that I have ever bought had at the very least light fixtures that I wanted to change out.  I have never purchased a house that I didn't do some remodeling.  Many of the houses had very modern fixtures even though the style of the house was traditional.  They had to go!  I am not modern in anyway way, shape, or form.  One house we bought was the model home and had brand new everything but the light fixtures just weren't my style.  I have been wanting a french door for my butlers pantry.  It's been open to the kitchen, but with grandchildren, now it really needed a door because of all the glass inside.  I went in a couple of weeks ago and someone had purchased a home full of European accents that they hated--wow just my style.  I almost got a gorgeous chandelier for the library but when I checked the size, it was too large.  They have everything at this store!  We went in and not only did they have a cream colored french door they had about 30 to pick from.  The price--$20.00.................................Excuse me, I just passed out from the sheer joy at the thought of it again.  As Ben pulled the car around I asked the lady if it had knobs on it as I didn't remember.  "No, but we have knobs." Over to the knob bin and there was the perfect set of brass french door curlique handles with all of the hardware..........................Sorry, I just passed out again.........The price for the whole set $2.00!  Someone had either moved into a very tranditionally styled home and wanted to change everything out or was remodeling.  Other people must hate traditional or european styling as much as I hate modern or early American.  Most of the time when I go there, someone has torn down a 200 year old farmhouse, and there is everything from old solid wood flooring, to built in corner cupboards, to antique fireplace mantels.  I got in the car and was almost delireous with excitement over my find.  Next stop Kohl's Dept. store.  I love Kohl's--they always have great sales!  Ben needed new khakis.  They were on sale 50% off.  Ralph Lauren shirts were also 50% off.  We got two of each.  When we got to the check-out, they had little rub off coupons of anywhere from 15-30% off.  I got a 30% off on top of my already sale prices and screamed so loudly I scared everyone within 15 feet.  That's when I realized that my life has become one pathetic existance where the greatest excitment I have is saving money on my shopping habit!  I am afraid my "condition" is getting worse and worse all of the time.  Like an epileptic, before long I am not going to be allowed to travel alone.  I'll need someone there to administer a pill under my tongue and smelling salts under my nose to revive me.  If it is an exceptionally big sale, they may need to dial 911!  I'll tell them to just drag me out of the aisle until I come to, but don't forget to grab whatever it was that I was looking at before I collapsed.  Got to have that bargain!