Kids!

O.K. I was a little worried about how my children were going to react to my blogging. You know telling everybody my business and their business too! Well they have been surprisingly supportive. I actually talked to Megan {the middle child who lives in TN} last night and she was really concerned about me. She sympathizes with the empty nest syndrome and is worried about the mid-life crisis thing. She asked me so many questions and gave me some great ideas on what to do with my life now. She was way better than that $85.00 for 15 minutes woman I went to see. Guess I need to buy her a pair of shoes! Then I talked to the oldest daughter Jenny--she too was extremely supportive and said, "I think blogging will be good for you." Are these my children? I thought that they would die of embarrassment. I was so afraid to tell them that I actually kind of whispered that I was blogging kind of like you would tell your best friend in her ear that you robbed the 7-11 at gunpoint last night of a box of Twinkies, a National Enquirer and 25 lbs of M&Ms! Well anyway the jury is still out on my 22 year old son. In yesterdays blog I mentioned something about not changed so often underwear. I feel the need to explain further lest he hits the roof, ties me to all my shoes to weigh me down and then deposits me in the local pond! First of all he was a preteen--this alone explains a lot! Secondly he was led astray buy a grown-up. Some guy {you'll know it was a guy when you hear the story cause a woman would NEVER think this way} anyway this guy told him it was actually possible to get 4 days of use out of a pair of underwear. First day you wear them the right way. Second day you flip them around backwards. Third day you turn them inside out and wear the crotch in front. Fourth day you leave them inside out but wear them backwards! My son told me this with a look of awe on his face that looked like he had discovered the theory of relativity! He said the guy said he learned it in the military. Am I the only one who is thinking THIS IS WHAT THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA IS TEACHING OUR BEST AND MOST COURAGEOUS AT BOOT CAMP! Well anyway now he shouldn't be mad cause I explained the whole underwear thing right? Back to the kids, I guess we can say that they have turned out pretty great! Not that there weren't moments mind you. I encouraged creativity in my children. I taught them to find things they liked about themselves and "revel in them." I also taught them that if it was something that they didn't about themselves they they could change. They could do anything they wanted to do! Sometimes I think I may have taken it a little far. All three of our kids had imaginary friends. Imaginary friends can really perk up a household I can tell you. Jenny had David and Jim. She painted the living room rug when she was 4 while a babysitter was supposedly watching her. Next morning at breakfast she informed me it was David that did it. I said, "Well DAVID knows better than to ever do that again doesn't he?" To which she replied, "Yea, he wanted to paint the walls but I wouldn't let him!" Megan's imaginary friends were Mungey and Petesy! The biggest argument I ever had with a 3 year old was whether Mungey could have his own cheeseburger at the drive-threw at McDonald's. Megan--"Mama, Mungey wants his own cheeseburger!" Me--"I'm sorry Megan but you will just have to share your cheeseburger with Mungey." Megan, "But mama Mungey wants his OWN cheeseburger or none at all." Me, "then Mungey will just have to not have a cheeseburger won't he?" Megan, "But mama, you always said that it was rude to eat in front of other people!" This is where my patience wears thin. "Meeggggaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnn, Mungey is perfectly welcome to visit anytime in fact I love Mungey, but I draw the line at buying him his own cheeseburger!!!!!" Benjamin shared Mungey and Petesy with Megan. He also had "Claw." Claw lived under his bed and protected him from monsters. Doesn't every little kid need a "Claw" sometimes? Anyway, we survived our children's childhoods. They've never given us the least bit of trouble-well much anyway. They've never done drugs or come home drunk. And we were never called to school because of a problem. Wait a minute, I take that back. I was called to school when Benjamin was in kindergarten. It seems he mooned someone on the playground! After I revived from fainting the teacher said, "Now Mrs. Montgomery this is not that uncommon for a child his age." NOT THAT UNCOMMON! I'm thinking seven generations of southern belles just rolled over in their graves! I could hear it now some sweet little ole lady in Heaven saying, "I heard it through the grapevine that my great, great, great, great, great grandson has just exposed his rear end on the merry-go-round at school. What is that world coming to!" Seems he has some kind of quirky underwear thing going on too"{Sigh} Kind of gives new meaning to the word merry-go-round doesn't it? I calmly asked my son later {after I had fainted several more times} what ever possessed him to moon someone on the playground. He said, "John told me to do it." Oh, well that explains it all! How could I have been so silly! John TOLD you to of course!" Then I think I probably said the old southern favorite that you are not allowed to be a parent until you memorize, "And if John told you to jump off a bridge would you do it?" My husband was always told "a cliff" but hey this is my blog! All in all I think they turned out to be some pretty incredible people! And that goes for my son-in-laws and Benjamin's girlfriend also! Aren't we lucky?