The Bad End of the Gene Pool!

Apparently God either has a sense of humor or He was on his coffee break and mischievous angels were at work during my sister and my conception and development.  Unto my parents were born 2 daughters-both of us southern-Praise the Lord!  Now here in lies the problem.  She got all of the good genes!  Don't you think that it is only fair that the good genes should be split perfectly even between children?  I do but then of course I have always been in the pothole of the gene pool!  For example--my sister tans beautifully.  I freckle and at my age gather spots.  I am hoping one day I will get so many that they will turn into a tan!  My sister could always eat anything she wanted and never gain weight; I on the other hand gained 3 lbs. by biting my fingernails!  Thank goodness I haven't bit my nails since 5th grade or when I die they would just have to burn the house down.  In high school, we were about the same weight.  Once we weighed at the same time and she was 97 lbs and I was 98 lbs.  Guess what!  She wore size 0 jeans and I wore a size 7---I think that they call them birthing hips!  {Wrong again-I had to have c-sections and Paula popped them out like guppies!} Paula was athletic.  She could do anything including gymnastics worthy of the Olympics.  I had to put in so much effort on not falling on my face just to walk across the room that I never even learned how to turn a cart-wheel!  Now on to hair.  Ever Southern woman knows how important HAIR is.  The farther down south you go the bigger the hair gets!  Us southern women love big hair.  The bigger the hair the closer to God!  For a southern gal to be born with stringy fine hair why that is just as bad as being born with an extra eye in the middle of your forehead!  Worse--modern day surgery can get rid of that weird eyeball thing going on there but they have yet to give a women with yuck hair a glorious mane that is full and thick, has a little natural wave, and lots of body. { Again I have sometimes in my life had lots of body but it has never been with my hair.}  Because the good gene scales were so far swung in my sisters favor, I often teased her when we were teenagers.  She had my mothers perfect hair and I had my dad's side of the family's "what shall we do with this mess this morning" hair.  The only consolation to me was that my mother's family were all prematurely gray.  I would tell her that she might have the great hair but that she would be gray by the time she was thirty, and I would finally get my due and have hardly a gray hair on my sparse little head when I was 90 years old.  I know, you already know where I am going with this.  You guessed it.  I took my hair texture or lack of it from my dad but got the premature gray gene from my mother.  Yeap, Paula still has that gorgeous head of hair without a gray one in it.  I have been a great supporter of Loreal 6G for 30 years!  During my complaints occasionally at this great injustice, my friends or family would say "but your sweet."  Sweet---Sweet----SWEET!!!!!!!!  I'd rather be tan, thin, athletic and have a great head of hair!!!