Hot Flashes!

Ah, the joy of hot flashes! Actually I am quite lucky. The doctor put my husband on a medicine a while back in which he had hot flashes as a side effect. He was like "I don't know how you women deal with these! I'm getting off this medicine; I don't care how much I may need it." Now he is the very epitome of compassion when I start moaning and sweating like a pig. If only they could come up with a medicine for men that causes temporary labor pains all the females I know would be happy! I once embarressed my daughter at a Wal-Mart Super Center when I had a particularly long hot flash! Not that it takes much to embarress a teenager. You pretty much do it just by getting out of bed in the morning! Anyway, I was strolling down the frozen food aisle when Oh, Oh, I started filling up with boiling water! Right there in front of my eyes was the most glorious sight I have ever beheld. It seems they had a sale on Totino's pizza and the whole freezer shelf was empty! I just very nonchalantly walked over, opened up that big freezer door, bent over from my waist, and stuck my entire upper body on that shelf! Warning: this can cause a buggy jam and some uncalled for comments. "Did that lady just faint?" "No she's conscious. See, she's licking the ice build up off the metal rack." "Make that WAS licking the ice build up off the rack, now her tongue is stuck!" "Should we call 911?" "Naw, she doesn't appear to be in distress. In fact she looks down right blissful!" From a teenager, "Man, If my mom ever did something like that I'd absolutely die!" From MY teenager " Yea, me too! Who's mom is that anyway?" Actually my child was over in the bakery section but when I walked up with frost in my eyebrows she suspected something, and I had to come clean. "Gee mom, that was not cool. Why do you always have to be so over the top! Can't you use a little discretion when you're out in public?" "Oh, sorry I won't ever do it again dear." Several weeks later I was back at the Super Center buying groceries again when guess what? Yep, another hot flash! Remembering my child's mortified look on her face, I skipped the pizza section and went straight to the frozen juice cans. Get the largest frozen juice can you can see and just roll that puppy all over your entire face. I did the rest of my shopping with that juice can on my forehead. Now that's what I call discreet. You can also rub it over any exposed skin on your body, but just be careful how much you expose! You don't want to act tacky in Wal-Mart! I keep a large can of frozen juice in my freezer at home all the time now. It's my new best friend!